I woke up and took Bryan to the airport early to go visit with his friends in North Carolina for the week. After that, the pups and I went for a run. I decided that instead of putting my life on hold while we wait to get pregnant, that I'd live it as though I was totally normal. So, a normal me would decide to train for a half marathon - totally normal, right? Geez!
I got home, ready to start my chores for the weekend and there it is, I started. I was so bummed, but I've been committed to not let it get to me. Easier said than done - it didn't go well. My sister and niece and nephew took me out for the day to help get my mind off of it. It worked. For a little bit.
Sunday:
Woke up and took the dogs for a walk. Woke up on what you'd call the wrong side of the bed. Everything was making me mad. I realized committing to not letting it get to me wasn't working this time. I slept and cried most of Sunday - pretty awesome, right? Sunday night, I went over to our friend's house for dinner. They just had the sweetest little baby girl. I want a sweet little baby. I definitely think about stealing her - realize that isn't smart, or nice - they'd find me. I live across the street. Guys, you can trust me with your kids. I promise not to steal them. :) I went home, alone since B is gone, and as I scrolled through Facebook, I saw 5 pregnancy announcements and 3 albums of births and thought to myself, "Why can't I just have a freaking baby already?". Sunday was not my finest moment. Well, then what do you know? I got an email from a friend saying: “We're expecting a baby!” That’s wonderful news. I know you can’t tell by reading this, but deep down I truly am excited for them. For real.
Today:
At times, I think that we aren’t ever going to have biological children; my hope is shattering, maybe God doesn't want us to have our own children so why keep trying? Adoption, however, is something He’s been very clear about and it turns out, that’s a great way to have kids! We have felt called to adopt, just waiting on the leading to what kind of adoption (baby, older kid, domestic, international, foster?). To my future adopted treasures….we look forward to loving on you and caring for you, holding you.
For those of you who feel alone in this, you aren't.
Verse for the day:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything. James 1:2-4
For those of you who feel alone in this, you aren't.
Verse for the day:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything. James 1:2-4
